Our Champion, beer-drinking bird-pulling machine (Don't call me Darren!) is really a guest appearance, usually via being dragged kicking and screaming from whatever bolt-hole he's ran into. Even hit two fours on President's Day 1999 (no, we don't know how either- Ed), crucial runs that enabled us to attain a total in excess of half the Presidents' sides' score. In reality, the sum total of Dazza's cricketing knowlege stretches as far as "Ah, summer, where one rejoices to the sound of leather hitting willow." In other words a golfer kicking a tree that's in the way. Don't ask, he can't play that game either. In the photo, this "Picture of a catch" (his words) is in the bar of the Ponsmere after a trip to the "Watering Hole" bar on Perranporth beach. But no ordinary trip.

   It was a dark and gloomy night as we carried our pint glasses across the beach on the way back to our digs. T'was nearly there when the now-legendary and infamous incident occurred. The inevitable bundle on the beach had started, sand going everywhere and Dave Hurren (whose orifices are usually invaded by the stuff) accidently-on-purpose, he-was-in-the-way sort of thing PUSHED our unfortunate lucky mascot (?) into the murky depths of the river that runs over Perranporth beach. He stank big time. No, there is no answer to that.

   The Isle Of Wight 2000 tour provided unparalleled opportunities we never capitalised upon - the little stream nearest the front of the hotel (Yelfs' in Ryde) that year was actually the raging Solent. Never mind, however he certainly shone in other ways on tour. With Trevor, Dazza pulled a bird at the nightclub (arguably the best-looking one, they tossed for it later I hear- Ed), only to be suitably awarded with a handbag each, filled to the brim with cleaning cloths, scourers, plastic bin-bags, etc. He drives a non-automatic ragtop car that includes the dodgiest starter motor known. It soon became obvious why he was prepared to take passengers on this year's tour - well, wouldn't YOU need some help to push-start the car? On return the cause was discovered - a wire that was loose. The way he likes his women. Yeeaahhh Baby!