tiniball.gif (219 bytes)   Matt recently retired from the general cricket scene but remains undoubtably one of THE characters in the recent history of our little squad. He's also as nice as he looks, easy going with a terrific off-the-wall sense of humour. Matt is a good all-rounder: on a turning sticky, he can bowl a low, accurate, swinging skidder (if such described delivery can exist). His main talent however lies with the willow, being a dependable batsman who usually finishes the season in the top part of the averages. 2000 saw a personal milestone for Vice-Captain Matt, scoring his virgin Century during our inaugural game at Tilford, becoming one of a VERY select band of West Endians in the process.

tiniball.gif (219 bytes)   He hasn't escaped the really bad luck either, quite the opposite in fact. He was totally convinced of this when given out leg-before during the Holmans CC game on the '96 Cornwall tour. "How could I be?" he reasoned, "The ball pitched halfway-down the wicket and hit me just below the eye!" Sound familiar? Everyone had forgot that the ageing local Umpire (who referred to everyone as "my bird") had a couple of bottles of brown ale permanently in his pockets (true!). Then, again on tour in 2000, he went down to a local nightclub on their "Gothic" theme night, and having encountered some bloke with a four-inch gash above his eye, came back to the hotel and regaled his hilarious version of it. The Ryde game on the same tour, and Matt waited and waited for a huge skyward hit to come back to earth when (in his own words) "I started to think about something else....". Needless to say, the ball bounced off his eyebrow, guaranteeing a visit to Newport hospital....

tiniball.gif (219 bytes)   Since 1995, a highlight of each tour video came from where Matt took the camera, adding his own unique narration as he went, by which time he was usually well gone. His "Billage" session from the last night of the 1997 tour (heavily assisted by Beefy) was unreal. Such laughter and gaiety was unknown. 2000 to the Isle of Wight was no different when he went on the "Beef Patrol" (one for the future), following our distinguished Chairman Howard into the gents. Hmmm..... Catchphrase for 1999 was "GO", and we usually did. Awarded the Fenwick Shield for being voted the players' Player Of The Year in 1998 and 2000. Captain 2001-2, now in semi-retirement. Topped all that went before him by being awarded the You're Shit - AARRGGHH! award for some tasty bowling figures (24 off one over) in 1999

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Captain, RHB, RA
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Wapiti Whelk, ballet champ
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Black tamil whale whippet
Watch with bleak Al Pimple
Whippet blackmail wealth
Blame Philip Wattle Whack
Pa Pill tweak a whelm bitch
PitaPat Whelk climb whale
Black llama, white whippet
All watch beak with pimple
Hamlet libel thick Pawpaw
Blimp whack petite wallah

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