From Little Acorns

During the '80s and early '90s we'd regularly meet other teams who'd enjoyed tours to various parts of the country. Why not us, especially since ex-members of the disbanded West End Colts (including Adie Lamberth) had joined and the squad gelled into one, big, happy and youthful bunch with plenty of energy to expend (Huh? - Ed). The last straw came when neighbouring Bisley regaled us with stories of what their antics on tour. That was it, we'd talked about it long enough and wanting to put our stamp on the club went for it, courtesy of "Beefy" Turner who put the wheels in motion and arranged it all.

"Big Jay" Walliker, umpiring at Mount Hawke, 1998

 The May Bank Holiday weekend of '93 finally arrived and off we duly trotted to the Isle of Wight, staying in Ventnor. There, preliminary explorations led us to the Mill Bay Tavern, frequented by local cricketers AND with decent beer. We'd quickly found our surrogate local and thus were equipped to survive the weekend, one trashed hotel room notwithstanding. It wasn't us, Guv. As with most of the country, Saturday is league cricket day, so stuck for a local side we borrowed a local ground and played another touring side from London, Merton Saints. Taking the field in the face of heavier skies and rain the game was abandoned at half time. Not the best start, but with reasonable matches on the Sunday and Monday, evenings down our temporary local and a trip to Colonel Bogeys' nightclub, the template for future tours was born.

  So successfully it HAD to be repeated. The same weekend in '94 we booked in at Heatherton Grange, a reasonably spacious hotel midway between Wellington and Taunton in Somerset. The weather was rather warmer and we managed to win all three games. The first at Hinkley Point near the coast had some surface water as "Beefy" Turner will testify - all of him found just about the only puddle on the field! The Kangaroo court set-up did just that - set-up. Ian Hunt's penalty was to perform an "updated" version of that favourite hymn, "All Things Bright And Beautiful," subtitled along the lines of "And Hunty Grunts And Smells." Not a pretty sight, nor was Duncan Perry taking to the field in a borrowed dress and Kev getting a drowning whilst washing the hotel management's cars as a punishment. Video footage exists of some of the memorable moments - something for the future, no doubt!

In keeping with our then policy of trying different places, the 1995 tour went to Perranporth, near Newquay on the north coast of Cornwall. We stayed in the large Ponsmere Hotel on an outcrop overlooking the spacious beach. This time around we changed dates to the second-last weekend of June in an attempt to get better weather. We were not disappointed and played three full games in excellent conditions. As with the Isle of Wight Saturday is league day so our first game had us playing Chew Stoke, another touring side from Bristol that were staying in the area. We won that game reasonably easily but the Sunday game at Holmans near Camborne went all the way to the last over: we only just triumphed in spite an unexpected plague of local bees. The thoroughly enjoyable weekend took its' toll by Monday (not the Beer, surely? - ed.) as we were comfortably beaten by Perranporth C.C. Of course, nobody really minded as the evening wore on first at the clubhouse, then later back at the Ponsmere hotel bar.

Click the hotel to check the PONSMERE out

 This tour saw the debut of the Blottery, a plastic carrier bag containing Ping-Pong balls numbered (by our own fair hand) 1 to 49. All tour attendees pick six numbers up to 49, as in the National version. When a Blottery is called six balls plus a bonus are picked out. If one of yours comes up you must buy a half or a short. Two up and it's a pint or a double. THREE and the best of luck to you as all "winners" have to down their drink in unison, IN ONE. Oh, yes. The best tour to date led us to ponder on returning the following year. And the following year. AND again... Loads of mayhem gets captured on camcorder, the best bits edited together for posterity. Beer in hand, we'll congregate round some poor sods' pad as usual and reminisce... something along the lines of "Did I really do that?"

Video 2000

1999

Video '99

The final tour of the century brought the fifth tour to Perranporth, the best attended ever. Of course more (good-natured) mayhem ensued with both interesting and weird occurrences caught for posterity including Matt's PINT of Guinness in one, courtesey of being a Blottery winner and President Pete being caught for the record Blottery - a staggering FOUR! Not a set-up, either! As he staggered off to bed those left behind and still up on the morning of the Longest Day (21st June) saw us venturing out on "The Walk" along the golden sands, pausing to "Dip our toes in the briney" and watch the sun come up. Fancy a dip, anyone? One of us did but my lips are sealed. Oh yes, and we'd won both games as a bonus.

2000, not out

  We were back to the Isle Of Wight for initial Millennium Tour. The first game was called off due to the huge amount of rain in the preceding month. The weather delivered in the nick of time though and the other fixtures took place on the hottest days of the year th far. We were comfortably beaten by Ryde on the Sunday and Ventnor on the Monday. Both were mixes of first and second-team players, Ventnor fielding a prodigy of Shane Warne and 1999's Hampshire Young Player of the Year for good measure! At least we had a bit of a run around, well, had to really as the ball sailed away for yet another boundary. PS - Don't ask "Barripper" Barrett how he did: lest we say the "Your Shit - AARRGGHH!" award is already decided.... (diabolical laughter - ED)

The 2001 video cover

  Oh yes, it was back to the jolly old Ponsmere for the sixth tour to Cornwall in 2001. Only two games were scheduled this year and one of those never happened due to the opposition not turning up. Our reputation precedes us, ahem. As for the one that did go ahead at Mount Hawke, well, we came second. And not a close second either. In fact the game was over so early we had a beer match, which we won. The first win of 2001 and it was a Beer Match! Very worrying. The weather was fantastic, probably the best we've ever had as evidenced by the dregs of the party sitting outside the hotel at 3.00am on a balmy Monday night / Tuesday morning. We can't keep away, can we?

  Well, that's the story of a club institution for most of it's first ten years. The 2002 tour is covered in greater depth on its own page, as hopefully future seasons will. To read that, click here. Otherwise we'll see you on tour maybe next year?

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